Begging

Zeke begs in multiple ways. One way is by staring.  Wanting to go outside he might just sit at the door and stare.  Wanting to be pet or loved he might set his paw on my knee.  He has "pawed" since the first day we met him.  Watching us eat, well he will have lines of drool from his jowls to the floor.  The drool is NO exaggeration.  He has been lovingly nicknamed "Slobber Bobber" when he does that.

Recently when reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, I was reminded of the Bible account of Jacob wrestling with God in Genesis 32.  Sometimes when it has been a while that you've read a passage that is familiar to you, it is easy to forget the details.  God touches the hollow of Jacob's thigh.  He is breaking the strongest muscle and when God says "Let me go." Jacob says "I will not let thee go except thou bless me."  Even though Jacob had been broken, he didn't let go, he held on tight and he begged for blessing.

Sometimes in life I look to remain content.  To be satisfied no matter where my life stands...with or without difficulties, good and bad times.  God wants us to be content, but that doesn't mean we cannot beg for blessing.  To wrestle for it.  To not just "ASK" for it but to hold on tight and fight for it.  Have you asked?  Have you gone beyond asking and begged?  Have you gone beyond begging and wrestled for it?   I like that Jacob did. That even though God "touched the hollow of his thigh" he didn't let go, he begged for God's blessings and afterwards...he saw God's face, because when you see blessings, you see God.

The Huggy Thing

Well, if you don't think I'm a bit crazy over my dogs by now...then this will make you sure of it.  Nay is afraid of thunderstorms so I bought her a thundershirt.  The idea behind it is that it applies pressure to relieve anxiety.  Now, if you've ever been around a dog that has severe storm phobia words like blood pressure, trembling, saliva, and heart attack enter your mind at some point or another.  I mean, Nay has literally ended up on top of my head when a storm passes through (and she is very unlike Zeke...Zeke hangs out like he is my siamese twin, Nay...not so much).   So with spring being here I broke down and got her this thundershirt.  See the above picture?  You can tighten it on her to apply pressure.  Steve doesn't think it works but I think it relieves it a "little".  She even gets kind of happy about it.  She calms down much quicker form a storm and I see little improvements here and there.  I think that it will not cure it, but it will help it.

My dad, who I carpool to work with, stops in the house each morning.  He loves my dogs like his own and really comes inside just to see them.  He calls Nay's thundershirt "the Huggy thing".  He says, I think the huggy thing is helping her because she's normally more nervous than this. 

I just love that description.  The huggy thing.  Doesn't it seem to have so much truth in it.  How true that a hug can relieve anxiety and fear.  How it can bring comfort when the storms of life are brewing.  (You can't tell me you didn't see that analogy coming!)

I know that there was a period in my life when I was in college that I was going through a hard time  When I would close my eyes and go to sleep I would imagine that I was curled up in the palm of God.  How safe I felt.  Though God cannot physically "hug" us right now, he does offer hugs to us in so many ways.  He's given me friends and family that hug me when I need it. He's given me promises in the Bible that hug my heart when I feel down.  I imagine, sometimes God has to tighten my huggy thing just like I tighten Nay's.  It's kind of like, you gotta be a bit uncomfortable to truly sense the comfort of God.  So what is God using as your "huggy thing"?  Is it a promise you've claimed before but allowed yourself to forget?  Is it a blessing from today that you did not recognize because it was clouded by storms and turmoil? Was it the presence of a loved one?   I am so glad for "huggy things".  I know, that every day I have to remind myself of the gifts he gives me, I have to notice the gifts because these are just small ways God hugs me.

Getting "Unstuck"

I wish you could've seen it.  Me trying to get the dogs "unstuck" from the SUV.  We have two cars, one I call the doggie mobile.  It is our old red Honda CRV.  I love this car because in the winter I feel safe on the roads.  I love it because I can pile the dogs in the back and not care about their muddy paws.  So in the back of this car I have one of those gates that separate them and keep them in the back.  (You see....Zeke likes to sit in my lap while I drive and since he is 90 lbs....it just won't work out that way.) 

Well, about a week ago the gate fell.  I was halfway home from my parents house and I could see my labs panicking in the back.  I could tell they were laying down and the gates was on top of them but there was no way out. I kept saying loudly "it's okay Nay, it's okay Zeke, calm down!"   I got to a four way stop, no one was there...so I climbed in the back seat and pulled it up.  When I got home and shut the door...the gate fell again.

This became the nightmare.  Nay was trying to squeeze up through the side of the gate to the back seat.  She wouldn't fit.  She was hurting herself in the process.  Zeke was trying to climb over the back that was only half open.....he is not graceful and I just couldn't picture the jump ending well...but yet he is graceful and so he did.  But....for a moment....I sat there begging both to stay calm.  Trying to get Nay to stop hurting herself and Zeke to stay put.  It was crazy....and once Zeke jumped out I was able to rescue Nay.

What a fiasco.  I told my husband all about it and he did that loud boisterous laugh that people do when they think it's the funniest thing they ever heard.  He did it several times and he said it was cause he could imagine it.  (I admit...Zeke is a bit high maintenance and Nay, well she has her moments.)  I was all upset over it because I panicked with them.  My wallet was not going for a trip to the vet, nor my sanity.

I think sometimes in life we can feel like Nay and Zeke.  How often do we get "trapped" and panic?  God wants us to just be still sometimes so that He can be allowed to do his work.  Sometimes when we struggle to solve things ourselves without seeking Him we find ourselves in a bigger mess than we were to begin with.  (You know...like Nay trying to climb between the gate and the wall of the car..hurting herself in the process?)

I am learning a lot about being still.  I find that there can be a lot of real peace in "waiting".  Sometimes we think we are "waiting" when really we are sitting there, wiggling to get out and get moving, instead of being still.  You know, that relaxation from head to toe where there is a sense of peace.  Waiting without wiggling.   Taking a deep breath and find joy in a moment of relaxing because really, the problem isn't yours anymore.

Experiences Speak Louder than Words

Zeke had another seizure this morning.  Fortunately, we learned from past experience how to handle it.  Zeke was sure afterwards to stay glued to my side.  Why?  Because, by EXPERIENCE of his own he has learned where he can find love and stability.  Where he can find help in time of need.  It is not because NayNay has told him so, it is because he has experienced it himself.

I am a Christian by choice.  Some would argue that I am not, that I am this way because it is the way I was raised.  I beg to differ.  I know many who was raised the same exact way and has yet turned away from it.   Interesting enough, because they have turned completely away from it...some would say.."it is because of the way they were raised."  So you see, the argument "the way they were raised" cannot be valid if so easily used for both situations.

Everyone has a choice.  I am now 36 years old and I look back over the years and see the forks in the road.  The forks where I stood at moments of decision, moments of searching and moments of silence.  At these forks in life the truth is you will either accept God or reject God. 

If you have been raised in such a home that I was raised then you know you have been given moments in life that you will either chose to accept God or reject God.  If you have gone through life and have chosen to toss it away as nothing...then you gave it not the time it deserved to be known in your life.  The God I know at 36 is far different and far more real than the God I knew at 25.  Experience has taught me as much.  Not what mommy and daddy said, but what I have experienced.

Don't toss away faith as if it is an old article of clothing handed to you.  Wear it, experience it, and learn its value.   Don't take the value of the article based on mom and dad, preacher or friends.  Learn it for yourself.  If you have not given it that opportunity, if you have only known it in a few years of adulthood, then you have never truly known it.  You have never truly experienced it.

I have chosen because as life passes on I begin to experience God in ways I've not known before.  Just like Zeke has experienced acceptance and help when in need....my own experiences have taught me more than 'heresay" ever could.

Quiet Time

Everyone needs a little quiet time.  Nay likes to hide behind chairs, tables, under the bed and in corners in order to get quiet time.  Zeke is very content to lay by my side for his quiet time.  "Quiet time" is what I call time that you have space and peace.

When I get in the car, for my 50 minute drive to work, I really love to listen to a book on audio. Sometimes, it's kind of odd.  When a man reads a bpok and he tries to sound like a girl when the female characters speak it makes me laugh.  Once I listened to this lady who was a professional puppeteer.  The voices were comical and cartoon like, I couldn't make it through the book~  Usually, some of the readers grow on me and I enjoy it.

I also like to listen to music.  Loudly.  There's something about a song that can uplift the soul, change your emotions, or just encourage. 

There are also moments where I like "quiet time".  It is time that I reflect and meditate.  There is truly something about "quiet" that allows you to hear God.  "Being still" truly allows you to seek God.  It's a time where I may sit and empty my mind of all things and wait.  Once you can find that moment..not necessarily in prayer or in reading...but just in stillness, it is an experience that allows you hear God....not audibly, but yet hear Him.

For me it is usually a message of love and one of encouragement, because my God knows that's what this girl needs.  I find that quiet time is never enough, never truly appreciated, but once I sit and do it....it can change the course of the rest of my day.

Quiet time for my puppies are different.  For Nay, in her old age, it is often.  For Zeke, it is rare...usually after complete exhaustion (even as I type this he's chewing a bone while Nay is knocked out!).  For me..I guess I am kind of like Nay...the older I get the more I realize I need it.  May God help me to "be still".

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God..."

Do you call yourself a Christian?  I do.  I think there are people though, who have not grasped what being a true Christian means.  You see, a lot of people in the world watch Christians and wait for them to "trip up".  What these people are missing is that being a christian is not about "who I am" but it is "about who HE IS". 

You see, if I were really perfect, I wouldn't need Christ.   I need Christ because I am a sinner.  And I need Christ because I fail. When things are tough, and I worry, I need Christ to make me strong.  When I am at my lowest and not the person I should be, Christ is there to convict me and make me better.

I ask you not to look at who you think I am, or even who you think I SHOULD BE, because while here on earth I will never be what I should be and I will only cause room for you to doubt.  I ask that you look at who HE IS. It is by HIM that I call myself a christian.  I am humbled to be called a child of God and I am grateful that He loves me, not matter who I am and no matter what I do.  I pray God gives me a love for others...as He loves me.

Earthquake in Japan

It has been a while since I've blogged.  I have attempted several this evening but it just doesn't seem right that I can blog about anything without even mentioning what is going on in Japan today. 

My family lives in Japan, but it is southern Japan and so far it seems they are safe.  My mom still has 3 sisters living.  One of them lives here with her husband.  The other two still live in Japan with their families.   My aunt here has been trying to get through but it seems the phones are so busy we cannot.  It seems though that all is okay.

Yesterday evening, as I thought about what was happening it made me sick to my stomach.  I could see the cars trying to out drive the tsunami.  I saw a man in his house, floating in the water...waving a white towel in hope of rescue.  It saddens me to see how terribly frightening it all must've been.  It saddens me to see the lives that were lost in this disaster.

I pray for these families and for Japan that they might recover.  I have no doubt they will.  I have seen Hiroshima today....more than 60 years after the atomic bomb.  It is one of the largest cities I have ever been to.  I believe that the Japanese are tough people, strong and determined to succeed.

On the other hand, I hope that through this they might find God.  Nothing brings us to our knees more than experiencing life's tragedies.  Whether it be losing a loved one to natural causes or losing a loved one to an earthquake disaster, we must consider eternity. 

I pray that the rescuers will find survivors, I pray that the survivors will be safe during the aftermath of nuclear power plants, tsunamis, and after shocks.  I pray that God will offer mercy and grace to those that remain, and I pray that the people of Japan will see it.

Have you considered eternity?