Living in 2012

My chocolate labs, they keep me sane, they keep me responsible.

If it weren't for them I may never vacuum with my friend Mr. Dyson.  I may have never learned the importance of measuring kibble. 

I may never find the cold wind hit me in the face when I open the sliding glass door every morning.  I may never see eight chocolate paws running across the snow.  I may never yell out my back door "Go Potty!" for all the neighbors to hear.

I may never be nudged by a chocolate head to be reminded "I am here to love".


My chocolate labs remind me, life goes on.  They remind me that though problems are small or great, "I still need fed, I still need let out, I still need attention and love." 

They remind me.......to live.

2012 was a year of many things.  A year of change, a year of silence.  A year of heartache, a year of joy.  And every year we hope and wish for a year that is one of good things happening, like movie scenes flashing across the screen with happy music in the background. 

And I have learned that living is for one day at a time.  That sorrow will not skip me, but neither will joy.  That trials will happen, but so will blessings.  That this life is meant to live.   To live in the fullest, to breathe in the moments, moments of happiness, and the moments that teach us through hard things.

And so I end 2012, telling myself....that no matter what happens in life....LIVE...for each day is new with mercies.  Each day is fresh.....waiting for memories to be made...like my own movie.....where Jesus is the Creator, Producer, and Director.   Where He guides and gives me a life.....that through His eyes my life is just what He has allowed it to be.  To Live..to Enjoy.

Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much

 

When I saw this picture in it's original form I saw pieces of my life.

With the churches along the fire place mantle.  The chocolate lab laying on the floor.  The blanket draped over the couch.  One of NayNay's bones.  The couch that seems to fit me just right as well as leaving enough room for the big chocolate goofy one, Zeke, to curl up with me.

It has flattened with all my comfy sitting.  That couch is one of my happy places.  I find myself there watching tv while folding laundry.

And then there was the quote, that I barely noticed.  Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much.

I never really paid much attention to this photo..... "Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much."

Friday,  December 14, 2012 we were all reminded of that.  To live well, laugh often, love much.

If you saw the news as I saw it you were at one point relieved to see only one had died.  Then one turned to twenty-eight deaths, and then twenty of them were children, and then a whole class was gone. 

And then you thought of Christmas presents unopened.  You thought of family Christmas cards just sent.  You thought of empty rooms and empty beds.  You thought of empty hearts.

I don't know what these families would say, what these children would say if they could speak.

I am reminded though that each day is a gift.  That each loved one is a gift. 

When we complain about work, traffic or rain.  When we gripe about messy rooms, laundry piles, and dirty dishes.  When we grumble over lost items or lack of time to finish a project.  This is when we must remember to live well, laugh often, and love much.

I cannot offer wisdom or answers.  I do not know your experience. I do not know your exact need.

But I know my God, and I pray to my God....and He knows you, and He knows your heart and hurts.

So I pray....for Sandy Hook.  For families.  And in thinking of those families I think of thousands of families sitting in hospital rooms this Christmas season....praying over their own loved ones.

May you find time to Live Well, Laugh Often and Love Much. 

God's biggest gifts are often little and it's the details that help us see....help us to live well...make us laugh often.....and inspire us to love much.

Debbie

The Feeling of Christmas

Nay-Nay does not handle stress well.  She flees from it.  One night Zeke had a seizure that seemed worst than most and harder for him to fully recover from.  After a seizure I have to keep him calm so that he doesn't rush to stand before his legs are ready.  One night Zeke's seizure was scary enough that Nay-Nay left the room and crawled in her bed with her bone.  The picture above is how I found her.

I was driving down the road listening to Christmas music, watching the girl in the car next to me shove a piece of pizza in her mouth.  She looked like she was on a road trip, possibly to visit with family.  The roads were wet and the the air was cold.  It felt like Christmas.

I don't understand how things can "feel" like Christmas.  Every other winter day that is just as cold in January and February we don't say...."It feels like Christmas". 
Feeling like Christmas....when the music plays and it seems happy and everything seems happy and I think to myself how can this be duplicated?  Will listening to Christmas music in March bring the same kind of blissful happy feeling.

I get Nay-Nay. Stressful situations do not feel like Christmas. I understand going upstairs to bed and curling up with my favorite "bone".  I always call it my "happy place".

Today as I un-wrap Tuesday I am reminded to unwrap every day like it is Christmas.  Since I unwrapped last Tuesday....a friend loses their beloved pet, a brother dies too young, an uncle is suddenly gone.....grief and loss.  Pain.  Life.

These are all reminders that we should unwrap every day like it is Christmas.  We may not have the music, the lights, the baked goods...but we can still live it.  We can still have the joy of Christmas.

My happy place doesn't have to be "curled up in bed with my bone" but my happy place can be every day.  In the seat of my car, in the chair at my desk, in the pew at church and cuddled on the couch with my chocolate ones. 

Hard times have passed, hard times will come....but the feeling of  Christmas cannot be beat by the JOY of CHRIST during difficult days.

Whatever you are going through, may YOU find the JOY of CHRIST.

Un-wrap tuesdays with me and Emily Freeman at

www.chattingatthesky.com -

"A Place for Your Soul to Breathe"

Name Calling

Utter Rebellion.  These chocolate ones are totally rebelling against getting their photo snapped.  It would've made such a great picture too.  But nope!

So you say, "Why isn't she just calling their names?"  That's because they are trained. When a name is called that means "come here".  If they are outside running around (or in Nay's case digging holes) and I call their names they come to me.  When they are in the house and I call their name they gallop to me, you can hear them rumbling as they come, two chocolate labs tripping over each other, in a hurry.  Usually because there is something in it for them.  A treat (actually meds wrapped in cheese) or even just some attention.

Sometimes, when I yell for "ZEKE", my hubby hears "Steve" and he answers.  :) 

When I am in absolute and utter rebellion in this life HE calls my name.  We so often forget how God knows our hearts and our feelings.  We get angry and upset about whatever has come our way and we don't want to talk to Him about it.  I have been reminded lately though that He already knows how I feel.  Whether it be that "this seems unfair" or "I've got it under control"....God already knows that's where we are...and He's calling our name.  He is saying "talk to me".

We think our hearts must be perfect when we come before God.  Though we have approached him for salvation, we try to be the "perfect Christian" as we approach his throne.

He doesn't need perfect from us as He is the one who perfects us.


So we should go to Him with our rebellious hearts and ask Him and share with Him the feelings.  Hebrews 4:15 says "For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points temped like as we are, yet without sin."

Have you ever said, "I wish you understood how I really feel."  "I wish you knew exactly how much I love you."  "I wish you understood."

Well HE DOES. He knows, He loves, He understands. 

He is calling your name. 

I want to be like my labs, rumbling in a hurry to see God's Hand, to see what He has, to get the LOVE that only He is possible to give.

Unwrapping Tuesday

Daffy is my mom and dad's yellow lab.  Daffy is almost human.  She knows which presents are hers and she opens them.  My chocolate ones....not so much.  Nay won't tear it up, I think she's a bit OCD.  Zeke, he just gets so excited in all the festivities he can't concentrate on one task!  He runs here and there, zig-zag, everywhere!! 

Today I am taking on the challenge of unwrapping Tuesdays.  Finding the gifts in today.  Sometimes I'm like NayNay and I get a bit OCD and don't enjoy the little things in life.  Sometimes I'm like Zeke and I'm all in a hurry trying to soak everything up that I miss the little things.

Knowing I would unwrap Tuesday's gifts my mind has been like Zeke, running all over the place trying to find some awesome gift I could blog about.  Hmm, air-conditioner frozen up (we like it cold even in winter), woke up with a headache, should've changed lanes earlier because now I'm making people mad trying to squeeze-in so I can turn right.  Mornings are never smooth for this night owl.

In the end of all my messy thinking I just decide I am so grateful for THIS Christmas.  I have had some hard winters.  For some the Christmas season is when people push away all the hard things and forget about them, but some hard things you have to live every day.  You worry that one bad day will lead to a worse day.  Your worries consume you.  Our home is affected by seasonal depression and Christmas does not allow us to push away this hard thing, we can't just forget about it for the sake of Christmas.

And then I think of families I know, those with cancer, those who have been fighting it for years, those who are just now fighting it.   Those who are tired of fighting it.

Life is hard.  And just when you think you are the "good girl" and deserving because you did "good things"  you realize you are not deserving of anything.  That God serves you life and as His child your response says what kind of child you are.  This is not the life I planned but this is the life God has given me.  He knew I could find the gifts in it, He knew I could have the joy.  For some reason, this Christmas I am seeing His gifts more than I usually do.  It is not something I can point at or even list, but it is a joy that quietly rests within.

So today, when I un-wrap Tuesday, I don't see anything I can hold in my hand, but I am reminded of Who can hold me in His hand, and I find JOY in tuesday and everyday.

(You can also unwrap tuesdays with me, visit Chatting At the Sky with Emily Freeman)

Thankful

Nay stands guard and should anyone approach she WILL BARK and there's nothing you can do about it!  She looks for passers-by, wild animals, and maybe a leaf or two being blow across the yard.  All it takes is one distraction though, maybe a snack from a human that will draw her away. 

Sometimes your life doesn't change, but your perspective does.......  You are looking at the same life, the same situation, the same problem and yet you are looking with different eyes.  

Sometimes our vision becomes blurred while our flesh induces anxiety and worry.  We see a problem that is exaggerated by our imaginations.  We don't think on things that are "true, just, lovely or of good report" but we think on possibilities that may not even happen.

Today I am thankful for God changing my perspective on life.  Life is not without it's trials and sometimes I am like Nay on the edge of my property staring down any problem that might come my way.  I thank God though that He has given me a perspective that reminds me of His goodness and His care.

Today, I am THANKFUL.

Obsessions

Zeke does not sleep ALL THE TIME. But, when Zeke settles in it is always with me. I know I've said this before but he is "MY Dog". I have heard references to that in other families but never understood it with Nay. Nay is not choosy with her affections, I truly believe she loves Steve and I equally and will basically just go wherever it suits her. It might be because she is a rescue, but it's probably more because she is a female.

When I visit with my parents Zeke will go out to play and romp around the yard with the other dogs, but just give it time...he will come to check on me, make sure I'm still around. If I am downstairs he will run to the room...look at me...and satisfied he will run back to the other dogs. When I get settled in so does Zeke. Being on the furniture is Jeff's "no-no" (Jeff is Zeke's even better version of Cesar Millan.) Jeff told us no furniture for Zeke, but I've failed in that matter. (Don't worry Jeff, those things you've imprinted in Zeke is still there, he's still a well-behaved dog!) When I am settled in he is settled in right beside me, on top of me, ALL OVER ME!


I told mom recently that I would be home for the holidays since Steve's parents are coming for a visit to Indiana. (They usually watch Zeke when we are away). My mom's statement was "that's good, I was worried. I'm not sure Zeke can handle being separated from you." Of course we both know that's not true, but it sure seems like it at times.

Oh how I need to seek my own Master the way Zeke does. Almost obsessively. I'm so thankful Zeke doesn't have anxiety when I leave but I know he misses me. Steve has found him in "my spot" when gone for a weekend. Waiting.
Interesting enough it is my God who loved me first and it is my God who waits for me. I get distracted in life and neglect Him. If I could just get obsessive about seeking God. If I could get to where I just can't get enough!!! We feed ourselves with the things of God, looking for satisfaction and for what we need to get by...and often times we don't seek again until we are starving and dry. If I sought God with the same obsession and intensity Zeke seeks me....if I let it consume my thoughts and my days then I would find myself fulfilled. Found wanting nothing.

Psalms 23:1 says "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want." It is the picture of an animal, following its master and its master fulfilling its needs. If He is my shepherd, I am satisfied.

Bottled Up?

Nay is the smallest of all the dogs in our family (I'm including our extended dog family of Daffy, Peyton, Rex as well as Zeke). She is our rescue, sassy and moody.  She wears her feelings all over every inch of her chocolate body.  She’s very expressive.  We use to foster dogs and when we had Samson she peed in his bed.  When Zeke was crated, she peed in front of his crate.  It was one of those spots where you could tell she had to back up to do it.  When she’s scared her whole posture changes, but when my Nay-Nay is happy you can see it from the tip of her tail to the end of her nose.  It’s like energy coming out of her.  She walks happy, she sits happy, she almost smiles at you.

When we picked up NayNay from the shelter her name was (and still is) Naomi.  Naomi means pleasant and so we thought why not?  We kept the name but Steve with all his magical nick-naming skills started calling her NayNay.  (Just like he calls Zeke "Zekey-Zoo" he calls her "NayNee-Boo Boo". And  by the way she got that name way before Honey Boo Boo came into the television world!  After all she is older than her in both dog years and human years.)

Nay makes me ask myself about my own emotions.  I remember as a teenager I'd cry very easily.  I was sensitive and shy.  As a result of all that teenage crying, being an adult I began to bottle things up inside, not wanting to show the weakness I showed as a teen.  Sometimes I allow my emotions to govern my relationship with God.  Sometimes I bottle up and feel like I have to be tough instead of leaning on HIm for the strength that I might need.  As if.....God doesn't know what's really going on with me.

It takes humility to admit it to God.  Admit that I need Him.  I know it seems silly since He already knows what's going on inside of me.  He can read me far better than I can read Nay.  He knows my heart and thoughts, fears and joys.   I can't bottle it up from Him and when I do I act as if I need not God. 

When Nay is afraid it's very obvious.  She's scared of storms. She'll sit on my head to let me know.  She'll follow me around the house.  Just like Nay seeks her master I need to remember to always seek my own Master.

142 Reasons to be Thankful

One hundred and forty-two pounds of chocolate!  I love and am thankful for these 142 pounds.  Actually, it's probably more than 142 as Zeke has added on a few but we are going to go with their last weigh-ins.  (For NayNay's sake, I won't tell you how much they weigh individually because she's a girl and us girls don't give away each other's secrets)

The other day I came home and they were outside.  I hid in the laundry room and as soon as Steve let them in they ran to me.  They could smell me (hopefully I smell good).  They knew I was home.  They greeted me with a joy only a dog could show.  Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.  I am attacked by 142 pounds of unconditional love.

Some people are taking up the daily challenge of listing their thankfulness every day of the month of November.  I have been challenged by Ann Voskamp to have 1000 gifts, as thankfulness is linked with joy.  I have attempted this count and often lose focus.  I have not given up though, I still count here and there.  I try to be thankful.

When I first started counting I mapped out my plan.  If you've read my bio you will know I am a numbers girl. So I decided that if I do at least 100 gifts a month then I would well reach my goal of 1000 reasons to be thankful by the end of the year.  If I am thankful for three things a day then I will reach my goal of 1000 reasons to be thankful by the end of the year.  I calculated and calculated. 

So then I found myself a robot. (Said in my robot voice).  Yes, I was losing the purpose of thankfulness when it became just writing a list to write a list.  When I would get frustrated that I didn't reach my goal.  So I stopped, I stopped counting. 

I had to stop counting though, that was my life this year.  I had to stop everything and be silent so I could hear God speak because I was letting my voice cloud His voice. 

So when everyone started putting "Day One, Day Two, and Day Three..." on facebook.  I have chosen not to participate since this girl is crazy enough to let it become a challenge instead of meditation of thankfulness. I'm still trying to figure out how to balance it!

I am thankful.  I am thankful for all your thankfulness on facebook.  I read them, I find joy in them, I think of each of your lives as you write them.  I know some of your heartaches and trials and some of you know mine and just knowing your reasons to be thankful is contagious. 

Debbie

Rule Followers

Nay and I are a lot alike. We like routine and rules and yet we are both extremely stubborn. NayNay does not like wet grass. I can't really tell but I think she tip toes through it. She always cleans her paws before she eats her peanut butter kong. She requires cheese with her kibble. In fact, she will lay there all prissy like until she gets it.  She is predictable. I know what to expect from her. After you've lived with a dog for 8 years it really is like they can talk to you. I know when she needs water by the way she sits in front of me. I know when she needs love by the way she looks at me. I know when she doesn't.....by the way she walks away from me!

I am a "rules" girl. I have lists and I have routine. I drink one diet mountain dew every morning. I won't do a u-turn if it says "no u-turn". Walking on the grass seems illegal. When I drink a red bull (one that happens to be sugar-free) I think I'm being edgy. I like having it all together and letting people think I have it all together.

The truth is....I am not all that I seem....I LOVE to watch television. I have a "People Magazine" app on my iPhone. When you see me you may not realize there is a hole in my sock.  That even though it isn’t Christmas my socks are probably Santa Claus socks.  I am probably wearing what I have on because it was hanging in the closet and not on the floor. You don't realize that halfway between home and destination I worried about whether or not I turned off the iron, that I imagine my house burning down with my dogs in it. I may have even turned around and went home to be sure. Truthfully, I am a complete organized mess.

I recognize other girls who like to have rules. Though I am not a huge Oprah fan, she is clearly a rules girl.  She likes things perfect. She works to perfect that image.  It almost hurts my head just thinking about how much work that must be for her, and yet sometimes I live that way. Striving to an image of perfection.  Following the rules.

I must slow at yellow and stop on red. I must park between the lines. I must color inside the lines. I must read my Bible, pray, and attend church all the time. I must praise God, always in the storm, never complaining. Then.....I remember.....I must live by grace. and when I live by grace pleaseing God follows.

No, I won't always praise Him, walk the line, not complain. At times I will buckle, and whine and cry. I won't be perfect because I can't be perfect. I have to remember that though I am a "rules" girl, I have a God of grace and when I live in that grace there is a real peace and happiness that it isn’t about the rules.  


I have learned over the last couple of years, through very difficult times, that it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks. I don’t live for them. I live for God and at the end of my life it is HIM that I will answer to, and even more inspiring than that….there is no other that loves me the way I am like He does and when I think of How He Loves......then I know grace.

Debbie

If you are a rules girl too then you should read "Grace for the Good Girl" by Emily Freeman

Golden Leaves

 

Peyton, mom and dad's black lab, and Zeke stand on the porch of my parents' house.

I like to believe they are looking at the tree, but probably not. Most likely they are looking at whatever might be moving.  A squirrel, another dog, or possibly a leaf or two being swept across the yard.  Whatever happens to be moving around them is what they are looking at.

Can they see what is changing right before their eyes?  Can they see the golden leaves? Do they see the miracle? 

A tree once bare buds and sprouts green leaves.  As time passes the green leaves turn yellow and fall to the ground.  The wind blows them away and once again the tree is bare.  Bleak.  Brown.  Cold.  Amazingly enough, that bare ugly tree will be green again, and then golden.

Do we see the miracle?  Or is it that life is moving around us and our focus is on the moving parts?  Are we missing the miracle?  And when we look and notice the bleak brown tree, do we see the miracle yet to come?  The golden leaves? 

Our eyes, our hearts are consumed with the "going-ons" of this world.  The day to day duties we must perform. We have to stop and see the  miracle.  Sometimes the miracle isn't seen in today, but it is seen it what today can bring for tomorrow.

God sees all parts.  He sees our future and what is yet to come.  He sees the "golden leaves" in our future, He made the golden leaves in our future.  So when we look around us we have to pause and see HIM.  Not the moving parts but the ONE who makes it all work together for His glory.  We have to see the golden leaves, we have to see the miracle.

Rest Unto Your Souls

You ever watch a dog sleep?  NayNay dreams. Her legs move and twitch, once in a while a bark or a yelp.  I imagine she is chasing rabbits in her dreams.  Zeke, he doesn't seem to show any signs of dreaming.  He just lays like a rock.  He will curl up as close as he can possibly get, warm and comforting.  He hardly moves.  He rests.

I like Matthew 11:29 not just because it says "ye shall find rest" but because it says "ye shall find rest unto your souls." When we take His yoke He takes our burden.  He does the work.  We learn of Him.  We learn of Him not just by reading His Word but also by taking His yoke.  By allowing Him to carry our burden.  I often think about that when I'm stressed out. How if it's a bag of weights I could just hand it over, and that's essentially what He wants.  Physically handing something over and emotionally handing something over is two different things.  When we are able to really give to God our heartaches, it is in this process that we learn of Him.  We learn of grace and mercy.  We learn that He is powerful and we lack control.  We learn to let go and usually it is because we just can't do it anymore.

The best part is though, when  you let go...."ye shall find rest unto your souls."  Not just physical rest, but true and whole rest.

Purpose for Every Season

 

Where's Waldo?  It took me forever to get a good picture of Zeke with the flowers.  I ran all around the flowers while he did too. He usually ended up on the other side of them, looking at me and laughing.  It's odd how when I am still he wants to be right on top of me but when I want him still he runs around like crazy.  So in this picture he hid behind the flowers. 

 

Finally I got him near me and still, and this is him smiling.  I said "Sit and smile Zeke!" and this is what he did.  Well, that's the story we are going to go with.  I was browsing through these pictures and saw spring.  Why does spring seem like forever ago and forever away?  I have always loved the seasons since much of my teenage years I lived in "seasonless" states.  (Hawaii and California....and yes I made up that word seasonless). When I see spring and fall I am amazed and the exactness of God's creation.  When I see snow I am reminded of pure beauty.   I often wonder how one can look around and not see God.

 

I looked at this picture below and noticed the flowers but that the trees were bare. Today those trees have green, yellow, orange and red leaves....ready to shed for winter.  And the seasons keep changing and changing and changing.  A cycle that goes on and on. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1 "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:"   One thing I can always depend on and that is the sovereignty of God.  No matter the changes, the patterns, the age....I can depend on Him.  Every season has a purpose.  You can see that our world offers many products but as much as pineapple can grow well in Hawaii it does not do as well in Alaska.  Corn is everywhere in Indiana and potatoes in Idaho.  The farmers wait for seasons because with the seasons come sowing and growing.  Rain and harvest.  Seasons serve purposes for farmers.

God has a purpose for every season in my life.  Whether it is rain or snow, sunshine or clouds...there is purpose for the season I live through.  My job?  To live a life that exemplifies Him and brings Him glory. 

Debbie

Daffy

 

As a kid I always wanted a pet. We had Chibi but the time with her was very short-lived since I was allergic to her. One morning I woke up and she was gone. Dad had taken her to a place where she could live out in the country and run wild and free. If you knew Chibi running wild and free was what she did, even if it was in our subdivision.

Being a military brat, having pets is difficult. If Dad gets orders to go overseas then transporting your pet can be difficult. You have to quarantine for a time and go through paperwork, so after Chibi having a pet was pretty much out of the question. I had gotten it in my mind though that if could find a pet that could be caged my parents would allow it. A mouse was cute but it was still a mouse. A bunny, well that was possible. This began my obsession with getting a bunny rabbit. It never happened but I have a lot of bunny rabbit stuffed animals from those days.

And so when Daffy entered our world everything changed. My brother brought her to my parent’s house (now retired from the Marines) and the family was never the same again. Ten years later our family now has a total of four dogs and two cats and none of us live on a farm. We all fell in love with Daffy, how can you not? She is practically human.

One puppy affected a whole bunch of other puppies. I now have Nay Nay and Zeke. I can’t help but ask myself if I am the kind of Christian that makes other want to be around other Christians. Sure the world isn’t accustomed to the kind of lifestyle we may choose to live, but is it possible that my “cup overflowing” attracts them to the truth of Christ?

It’s hard sometimes…overflowing. It’s hard to reflect the mind of Christ when your co-worker is negative and angry and somehow you get the side effects of it. It’s hard when you are hurt and torn up about a trial in your life and you insist you have joy, but when you lay your head on your pillow at night you think it’s waning away. I can bring on a smart remark if I want to, but do I overflow and display the love of Christ so that those around me would respect Christ that I claim to love? I hope so. I am reminded that as I am loved by Christ, so I must show His love to others.

Debbie

Silence

 

When my dogs hear something their ears perk up.  They listen carefully so they can determine the source of the noise.  Sometimes, Zeke even tilts his head as if he’s thinking about it.

 

Silence….it’s what I needed.  So I shut down what noise in my life that I could.  I shut down my Facebook and I stopped blogging.  I had to stop and “listen”.  I had to let my ears perk up so I could hear what God was telling me.  Everything was noisy in my life. 

 

There is pain in life.  Sometimes that pain makes me twist and turn, a little uncomfortable.  Like needles pricking me unexpectedly.  Then there is the pain that just makes me grumble and complain, the kind that makes me frustrated and upset with where I am.  And then there’s pain that silences me.  I don’t twist and turn, I don’t grumble and complain, I am humbled.  I am aware of my weakness.  God says “listen” and the pain makes me still.

 

Like Zeke I need to perk up and listen.  No matter the source of the noise, God has allowed it.   At first when I listen I hear nothing and hearing nothing is just more pain.  But God said “Be still.”  So I continue to silently listen.  If I am patient I then begin to hear what I need.  I hear grace.   I hear mercy.  I hear hope.  I hear Jesus.  Jesus calms, Jesus brings joy.  With the deepness of every trial, the deepness of God is revealed to me.   His presence is even clearer within, like thick air that surrounds me.  I imagine as I lay down that I am cradled in the palm of His hand.  This is what He wants.  So that he can give grace and be glorified as I walk forward.

PEACE

I found myself recently waiting at a doctor's office, flipping through magazines, passing the time.  I read an article about an author who chooses a word each year.  It is her word for the year.  So I felt the challenge. What word do I want for 2012?  I battered around in my head several...hope, faith, love...all the good words that seem to dream of more, expect more.  Great big gigantic faith, I mean really?  What could be better than that. 

Truthfully all the words are linked together but I did finally choose a word, PEACE.  It is something I ask God to help me with.  Not just the peace that you get and beg for each day but one that is silent and still.  Peace that passeth all understanding, that is consistent and steady.  Our emotions often override peace. 

God blankets us with peace, like soft snow on hard ground.  Yet we let the toils of this world wield it away like snow trucks blasting salt and sand, turning it grey and ugly. Our emotions overtake us and we find ourselves riding the roller coaster of life.  "Peace is not the absence of problems but the presence of God."  May I know His presence more abundantly so that steady peace blankets my heart. May 2012 be a year where I know God more and find peace in what He knows for me.

He Likes the Broken Pieces

I was sitting with my mom at her kitchen table.  Nay and Zeke were with me.  Zeke had found this broken football and took it to my mom to play with her.  I told mom, "He likes the broken pieces."  For some reason Zeke likes the broken pieces of his toys.  I don't throw away the spare parts because I know he likes to play with them and bring them to me.

Oh how our God likes the broken pieces.  Broken lives, broken hearts, broken homes....He loves to take the broken pieces and make them whole, make them used for His glory.

We are broken through difficult things in life.  We are broken because of our own sin.  We are broken because of the trial we are facing.  We are broken because.....of so many things.  You might think of where you are broken. 

I am so glad God likes the broken pieces.  That he DELIGHTS in mercy.  That though I am all broke inside...lacking faith, lacking communion, lacking in prayer....that God loves me anyways.

"Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage?  he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.  He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us, he will subdue our iniquities; and thou will cast all their sins into the depths of the sea."  Micah 7:18-19

Running

Zeke does this jog when he's in the house.  He has so much puppy in him compared to the others. When he's outside and sees me he doesn't just jog, he comes running. He comes running to me.  When I call him, he hears my voice, and he comes to me.

I know I've blogged this before but tonight I am moved by the idea of Running to God.  Sometimes in life there is nothing more you can do than run to God.  Our lives fall apart and we are broken inside.  We put on our strong face through each day but we are broken and seeking, but through our tears that blind us we need to run, run after God.   He's calling out our name...and His arms are waiting.